Update – 2019 into 2020 (or a long overdue list of thoughts)

Oh boy, It’s been a little while hasn’t it… I know I am long overdue with an update and luckily this quarantine has got me knuckling down to get things off my to do list.

Let’s start with the big one shall we? I’m a big fan of ripping off the plaster (band-aid for my US readers) in one quick motion…

I lost my Dad last year. 18th October 2019. He was 61.

It’s been unbelievably tough and I know I’m never going to feel better about it but I’m doing okay. Such a strange thing to write an update about…

It’s funny because it’s the little things I miss more than anything else. I miss asking for music recommendations. travel tips, terrible jokes and referencing TV shows with him.

I’m not going to go too deeply into it as it gets harder to come out of if I think about it for too long. By that I mean, all the things we can’t do together anymore or all the things he won’t be there for. I’ve found it easier to try and move forward with my life and not dwell on the loss.

Now that update is out the way…

I turned 30!

That’s right, I’m an eighties baby and I hit the big three zero in 2019.
This is something I never thought I would have achieved as I spent most of my teens and early twenties depressed and suicidal.
It’s a strange thing to be older than my parents were when they had my sister and I yet still not own a house, my own car or have any kids.
However, I will say that I think the world has changed SO drastically over my lifetime that those expectations are just ridiculous now.
My Mum was 24 when she became pregnant with my sister, at the same age I had only just met Adam and was still taking anti depression medication. I still hadn’t held a job for longer than a year.
It’s silly to have such archaic viewpoints of the world which revolve entirely around the generation before us who hadn’t experienced the same upbringing that we have.

I stuck out an office job for longer than a year!

Probably my proudest update.
I’ve held a job at the same company for two years (I hit 2 years in August, if you’re curious).
For anyone that doesn’t know, blogging/influencing isn’t my main gig. I also work for a telecommunications company that provides decommissioned or recycled products to the global telecoms market.
I’ve worked my ass off since starting in 2018 and I now have a small team that are fantastic. It sounds silly but I really love my job. It helps that my manager is super understanding and that my work pals are incredible (Yes Lorna and Georgia, I’m talking about you!)

I (finally) went to Paris (Favourite Update)!!

To honour one of my Dad’s plans, I made sure to take a trip to Paris in February 2020. Originally, he was going to go and see the Da Vinci exhibition at The Louvre but unfortunately the tickets were sold out by the time we had booked our travel and hotel.
This was only the fourth time I’ve been on holiday and my first time in France. As soon as the world recovers from Coronavirus, I’m planning on travelling there again!

Eiffel Tower at Night

We stayed at this hotel which was a five minute walk from the Metro and around fifteen from Montmartre.
I cannot begin to explain how meaningful the trip was for me. Also, I have a small amount of Video footage that I’ve been meaning to edit into a mini vlog.

I saw my favourite artist again after 6 years!

Are we even friends if you don’t know that my favourite artist of all time ever is City and Colour?!
Well, late last year he announced an upcoming UK tour and I pounced on the tickets! He performed almost entirely acoustic on the 29th February at the London Palladium and he was (as he always is) phenomenal.
He even played my favourite song; Day Old Hate.

So…

I’m pretty sure that despite Covid-19, I’ve really grown a lot this year. I’ve learnt a lot about myself and I’ve really taken the time to understand my needs. I know that 2021 is only a few months away and it’s still filled with uncertainty but here’s to a blessed 2021.

Lip Fillers – Spilling The Tea on my Experience

Lip Fillers – Gifted Discount in exchange for Instagram Photo

Hey Lovelies,

How are we all doing?

I wanted to give you all a very detailed post about my lip fillers. They have now completely dissolved and I feel like that’s a perfect time to reevaluate on my experience.

I was kindly gifted a discount for my experience in exchange for an Instagram post, however I still paid money so I’m not sure how to disclose this so I’m going to say Gifted?

What to expect…

I’d just like to explain that although now fairly common, this is a medical procedure. Please keep that in mind if you’re considering lip fillers.

Pain

I’ll dive right in and answer the obvious first. Having Lip Fillers is NOT painful. If you experience any pain or discomfort you must stop,  don’t bare it. Don’t put on brave face. Stop.

You will be given a numbing gel or failing that, an injection if you still have some feeling in your lips. I asked for more numbing as I could still feel my finger on my lip when I touched it. After the second application of numbing gel, I felt no pain.

However, you will feel a small amount of pressure, tugging, slight sharpness or cold feeling as the filler is injected (similar to a IV drip).

Lip Filler Products

I researched prior to having lip fillers and found that the two most common fillers are called Juvederm and Restylane. Both are made up of Hyaluronic Acid.

This acid is a product that is natural to your body (however the injectable version is synthetic) and acts as a sponge that attracts moisture. Any skincare product that has Hyaluronic Acid in it will boast too smooth, plump and hydrate the skin which is why it is so commonly used in lip fillers.

My procedure was completed with Restylane. This also had a small amount of Lidocaine inside which helped to keep the pain from creeping in.

Amount

So many people have different opinions on this, so I’m going to add my personal experience here in the hope it helps make your decision.

I planned to have 1ml but only had 0.6ml. This was due to the follow up appointment being missed (my fault). Then, not being able to return (also my fault). In hindsight, I wish I would have had the full 1ml there and then.

The follow up appointment is so that you can spot any unsymmetrical aspects or parts that you want to be a little more plump.

The swelling for me was quite intense, also I seemed to have a reaction to the numbing cream as my lips got VERY dry and flaky for a few days.

Having to go through that twice would have potentially tainted the experience for me. That was just my personal experience, so it could be completely different for you.

I’m definitely considering having lip fillers again and would opt for the 1ml this time. I loved the shape and size of my lips during the swelling process.

Aftercare

The aftercare is pretty simple. Use ice to help with swelling. Keep your lips clean for the first 24/48 hours (or as directed). Don’t panic if there is a lot of bruising. You know, the usual.

Lip Fillers Before and After VickiAmaya Restylane

My Procedure, Results and Final Thoughts?

The only other medical procedure I’ve had was a wisdom tooth removal, so it was definitely less of an ordeal (and less envasive) than that. I wasn’t in any pain or discomfort. Although I was quite nervous but this quickly dissipated.

I really loved the results although, looking back on photos I wish I could have changed the shape slightly so they were fuller in the middle and less on the edges. Also, it may have been the fact that I didn’t have the full amount but I felt they didn’t last the 6-9 months advertised.

Something else I wasn’t quite prepared for was the sensation of having filler in your lips. This sounds silly, I know but I really hadn’t considered being able to feel the filler in my lips. I would liken it to having an inner tube in your lips.

If you’re considering this procedure, please do your research. Find the best clinic for your needs. A cheaper price could compromise safety and results. Lip fillers are not without risk and although common and reversible, I would hate for you to have a bad experience with them.

If you still have questions about my experience with lip fillers, please feel free to drop me a comment below or send me a DM on Instagram.

Until next time lovelies,

Take Care

xx

P.S  – I had my procedure with Dr Eldimarys

Website

30 Facts About Me

I thought it was time I shared a little bit more about myself on here and this is a fun way to do it. This is a mix of some of my favourite things, childhood dreams and weird life choices. For me, things like this might bring us a little bit closer. Learning new things about people is my favourite way to get to know them!

Let’s get into it!

  • I have never officially broken a bone. I *think* I broke my little toe a few years ago but I never got it checked so technically this is a fact (until proven otherwise).
  • Doctors treated me for epilepsy from the age of 9/10-14. I used to faint when I was younger and the doctors at the time thought it was epilepsy. I took the tablets for a few years but was still fainting, so I stopped. It turns out it was just a salt deficiency and circulation problem.
  • I have webbed hands and toes! The skin on my fingers is linked a lot higher than anyone I know. The toes on my feet are linked together too!
  • I trained my accent to be different. I’m from the Black Country which is in-between Birmingham and Wolverhampton. The accent there is really thick and sort of silly sounding, so I trained my voice to sound less thick.
  • My favourite film is The Crow. I love the deep rooted message of love that it upholds, even through the violent and drug enthused plot. The sequels are terrible though.
  • The first tattoo I had was done on a leather sofa in my mums friends house. – I paid £20 and didn’t ask for the dots or the heart… Always go to a professional.
  • I met my boyfriend on a website called Vampirefreaks. We both had made an account in our early teens and by chance happened to be online at the same time on evening in 2012. (I messaged first, if you’re wondering).
  • When I was younger, I wanted to be a fashion designer, lawyer, writer, hairdresser or singer.
  • My old band and I recorded a live show in Birmingham. – The recording still exists on youtube!
  • My first childhood crush was Aaron Carter. I liked that we had the same haircut and we’re similar ages. I was about 7 at the time…
  • My second childhood crush was Trent Lane from Daria. – I had a thing for musicians (clearly).
  • I am terrified of dead things. So much so. that when my cat was put down a few years ago, I couldn’t say goodbye or be at the burial. This still hurts. For some reason people in coffins doesn’t freak me out, but seeing an actual body is probably my biggest fear.
  • My second biggest fear is never amounting to anything. I would hate to just live and die without meaning anything or doing something that will have a massive impact.
  • I used to have handwriting classes. The teachers couldn’t read my handwriting and I had to dedicate time to trying to sculpt letters into a more eligible shape.
  • I’m a college drop out. In fact, I did it twice. Both for very silly reasons.
  • I am unapologetically Sagittarius. Blunt, Adventurous, Travel Driven, Impatient and Stubborn.
  • I want four children, three cats and one dog. I have names for all of them. I’ve even decided to change my surname when Adam and I get married so that I sound more like a Disney villain.
  • My first concert was a band called InMe. I met the lead singer a few years later (as you can see below).
Dave Mcpherson and I (excuse my eyebrows)
  • 19. I can’t wear headphones for too long. It hurts and I get really bad pains in my ears.
  • Last year, I chipped my front tooth on a coke bottle and I now have a little square gap.
  • The first boyfriend I had was a ginger, gypsy called Cornelius Jr Jr Jr (he was the third to be given that name). In my late teens, my mum invited him to live with us as he wasn’t doing too well.
  • I once got so drunk that I went to bed with my handbag still round my arm and one heel on. I was very hungover that day.
  • Speaking of bad days, I once tried to overdose, told no one and was almost deaf for two days while the drug left my system.
  • If I were a boy, I was going to be called Adam or Stuart. I was almost called Natalie, but my aunt had her baby first and stole the name. Natalie’s little brother is called Adam.
  • When I first moved to Essex, I had no friends. BTW, Now I do!
  • I only speak to one person from my primary and secondary school.
  • I don’t have a middle name. In fact, neither does my Sister or Parents.
  • I have size 6 feet, I’m 5’7.7 and my natural hair colour is blonde.
  • To this day, if someone recommends a band to me, I won’t listen to them. I dislike being told what to do. Even if it is to benefit or enrich my life. (I told you I’m a Sagittarius, right?)
  • I was a vegetarian from the age of 18-20 because I made a bet with my best friend. n 2017 I became a vegetarian again, after hearing sounds of animals being slaughtered whilst on holiday in Vienna.

Phew, and that’s a wrap.

I know these sort of things are a little cliche but I really wanted to break the ice a little. So, which fact did you thing was the strangest? Tell me a fun fact about yourself below!

Why you NEED a positivity playlist – VickiAmaya

To put it simply, because it makes you feel fucking good!

I’m currently sat on my bed, developing a tan, listening to one of my five absolute classics for my own positivity playlist songs. It’s so good that I’m having a little boogie, flipping my ponytail around, throwing my hands in the air, you get the gist…

If you don’t have five go to songs that can pull you straight out of a down day, then you can steal mine from below but I urge you to seriously personalise your positivity playlist.

I started my own (mental) playlist back in 2012 when I had my bad patch (read about that here). There was one song that would always pull me out of a deep, dark depressive day. I related to each verse and the chorus just nailed the resolution. I am of course talking about Shake It Out – Florence and the Machine. It’s one of those songs that just penetrates the soul and really gives you the pep talk you knew you needed!

Since then, I have slowly amassed a small anthology of songs that will perk me right up in four minutes or less (estimation). However, of all the songs there are five that really build me up and lift those dark clouds.

– The Playlist –

  • Shake It Out – Florence and the Machine
  • Darlin’ – Avril Lavigne
  • Fuck You – Sleeping With Sirens
  • My Heart Will Go On – Scott Bradlee’s Postmodern Jukebox
  • Looking Up – Paramore

I mean, I do also sing these songs at the top of my little lungs so that probably helps. Each one has that perfect message for pulling you away from the downward spiral that you can get trapped in.

So, why not create your own positivity playlist and please feel free to throw it my way, I would love to add to the above with your suggestions!

Until next time lovelies,

VickiAmaya

Lets talk about anxiety

Alright so, Anxiety is something that plagued my life for years. I’ve had anxious thoughts and feelings from as long as I can remember. Even as a child, I used to get this feeling that something bad was going to happen.

I remember always feeling this snap decision in my head. Something in there was saying ‘No’. But, as hard as I tried to fight against it, it would always win. I couldn’t do something because of this ‘No”…

In my teens, I missed a lot of schooling and GSCE coursework. I was constantly at war with my mum, trying to get her to understand but also trying to figure it out myself. Why did I have some horrible voice that wouldn’t let me do the things everyone else could do?

What was wrong with me?

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