Twenty Seven Life Lessons, at Twenty Seven


Hey LOVELIES  

– How are you?

As you may or may not be aware, I turned 27 today (13th December) and I feel like I have already lived quite a thrilling life filled with experience – so, for today, I thought that I would share some of my wisdom with you all to hopefully aid you in your day to day!

No° 1.  You will never ever feel your age

You won’t wake up one warm and sunny morning, stretch out all of your limbs, pull the sheets away and feel like a twenty something year old – you just won’t – and it won’t be any different at 30,40 or 50 either.

‘Age’ in general isn’t something that we naturally feel; In fact all time is (calculatively speaking) just a man-made way to keep track of the days, nights, hours, weeks, months and years.

I always find myself asking the question “Would a 20-Something year old do or say this?”.  To give you an example, I cannot count the times that I have picked up my cat and made him dance to a song or pushed him into my partners face and voiced him saying “You talkin’ shit?”.

We also have the misconception that with age comes wisdom – which isn’t necessarily true. Someone may have lived longer than you, but have they had the same life experiences than you?  What about a short, yet hugely varied life vs. a long and uneventful life of routine?

Ten years of the same places, people, habits and routines surely does not make you ten years wiser. We’re all setting ourselves up for problems when we wait to feel that today is the day, the time is now and we are, finally, old enough to do that thing we’ve always wanted to.

The bottom line is to keep doing you – explore, experiment, learn, grow and love what you’re doing: don’t worry about clocking up the miles on your biological clock.

No° 2. Adults don’t know how to adult

This one is particularly important when you find people older than you trying to impart their knowledge onto you. I have truthfully witnessed a grown women lose her shit because a cashier wouldn’t move from one counter to another three feet away to serve her ice cream. The ice cream was for her two little girls – one on each hand.

 How will that lesson translate?

You wouldn’t take relationship advice from your serial cheating friend, money advice from a gambler – or life advice from a screaming woman handing you ice cream. Be careful who you choose to learn from, admire, follow and respect.

 No° 3. Moisturise!

 Pretty self-explanatory. If you don’t want to look like a leather bag that’s been left in the Sahara for forty years, whack a bit of moisturiser on from time to time. Start today.

No° 4. Look after your body

 How many bodies do you get? One – the one your currently using to read this.

Take care of it, understand what it needs to be in tip-top working order. I’m not saying you need to be a health freak or a Nutritionist – i’m saying that you need to stop with the ‘worry about it later‘ approach. Later will at one point be now – and if you don’t feel like changing now, i’m afraid to tell you, later ain’t going to feel any different. 

I recently had to cut out lactose because I had cripplling stomach aches for over two years. Unfortunately, cheese was and still is one of my spirit animals – but my body couldn’t cope with it, so now I don’t have it. Simple. 

No° 5. Stay hydrated

Following beautifully from No°4 – drink water.

Do you have a household plant? Now imagine giving that plant only tea, coffee or fizzy drinks… It would die. Now replace the image of the plant with your body: your brain is having a hard time functioning to its impeccable standards and the rest is lagging along behind. Get some water into your system. You will look and feel better, trust me! 

No° 6.  Do the things you want to do, when you want to do them

There is a video on YouTube by a wonderful woman called Mel Robbins entitled “How to stop screwing yourself over” and I highly recommend you watch it.

Life is way to short to spend it worrying about small insignificant technicalities. Just go and do the things you want to do. I would rather live a life full of experiences then waste away always playing the safe card. Don’t tip-toe your way to death.

No° 7. Make your own mistakes

I’ll let you in on a little secret here, lovelies: you cannot experience anything worthwhile if you don’t stick your neck out.

I went through a severe depressive episode in 2012 and it was during this time that I decided I would learn all of my life lessons by watching the entire ten seasons of Friends (it made sense at the time). Let me tell you… It was a complete waste of time and I learnt nothing. 

Experiences are completely hollow without feeling behind them – good and bad. Sometimes you have to go through some real pain and emotion to really gain from an experience – thats okay, and even kind of the point! 

No° 8. Brush your teeth twice-a-day and floss

 We’ve all had the experience of someones really, really smelly breath: the guy at the station, the girl at the shop – That could be you to someone else.

Take care of your teeth and treat them well. Brush them all over for two minutes both morning and night and floss the shit out of them. Mouthwash is never to be used after brushing – its always before (and hot salt water is just as effective). By doing this alone you’ll have fresher breath and whiter teeth! 

For bonus points and even nicer pearly whites, you can: drink less tea and coffee, clean your teeth after meals, stop smoking, cut down or out on sugary and highly acidic foods.

No° 9. Learn to love yourself

 YOU! Yes, you. You are a wonderful, beautiful, fantastical human being and I love you.

You can change any bad thought you have into a good thought. In fact, you can change anything – and it’s all a question of mindset. For those of you who read that kind of sentiment and think “No, fuck off” – i’m going to guess you have a hard time making changes in your life and that the first reason why has nothing to do with you.

Believe me, I was there too. 

Be kind to yourself and stop letting negative thoughts make your life a misery. It’s okay to love yourself

When I was in my bad patch I watched a film called ‘The Help’. Now, the whole film is a touch upsetting but there is a scene in particular where Aibileen says to Mae Mobley “You is kind, you is smart, you is important” – and I shit you not, I wept like a baby for twenty minutes.

I took from that experience that I was not kind to myself at all in that part of my life. A weird turning point? Yes – but it stuck, and thats what counts. 

Love you and feel the love for everything you are and everything you do. 

No° 10. Stop worrying about how you look

There are certain points in your life where your appearance matters. A job interview, your wedding, school reunions and obviously Skype calls – 

When you’re home alone, however, eating pepperoni from the packet is not one of those times. Let go of your body hang ups and just be 100% unapologetically you.

I pick my nose in my car, I dance to music in public places and I ugly cry at films when animals are hurt. The sad fact is that most of us are too worried about how we look to really notice how other people look.

To prove a point, try this:

Remember the last time you were out and someone caught your eye – what did the person immediately to their left look like? In detail please. This is, more or less, the way you are probably going down in other peoples memories too. 

Life is just too full of everything you could be doing to spend time worrying if your eyeliner flicks are even – and I’m convinced it’s a myth anyway! 

No° 11. Try new things

I mean, do I even need to say this?

Get out there and do something you’ve always wanted to do.

Try that new exercise craze, buy that mustard yellow jacket, and go talk to that girl with the awesome tattoos. LIVE your life

No° 12. Break the rules

 Well, maybe not every rule… but definitely do something moderately illegal or unconventional. Think more ‘Against the grain‘ and a little less having/doing because ‘it’s in’.

I mean, who hasn’t taken a bus ride with yesterday’s ticket or hit 80 MPH in a car on the motorway. Give yourself the thrill and adrenaline rush that comes with doing something you know you shouldn’t. Hell, even if it’s having cake or ice cream for breakfast. 

The point is, don’t live your day to day by ‘The Book’ – ‘The Book’ would have been better titled: Boring: The Very Best of”

No° 13. Don’t let people talk you down

 Unless you’re standing on the edge of a tall building.

Seriously though, who is someone else to tell you what/who you are? You are the most bad ass mother licker and your life is your own personal movie. Does Cinderella pay any attention to her ugly step sisters when they call her names? Fuck no she doesn’t – she lives her own life the way she wants and then marries a prince.

Being and making the best version of you is a lifetimes work. Worry about other people when you have that completed. 

No° 14. Educate yourself

A guy walks into a room of strangers of all ages, races and religions: He says what he thinks – and he turns right around and walks out.

Consider this:

Most of us will close the book for good on education between age sixteen and the mid-twenties, faithful that our ten to fifteen years of learning has our back – for the next four to seven decades

Take the time to actually learn new things! Always be learning: Take an online course, read, find out what happened to Hitler’s Generals on YesterdayHD – whatever it is, expand your knowledge.

Most of us haven’t actually learnt something new in years. 

Challenge your own opinions and understandings. Be able to argue both sides of a point of view. Why are you so sure that you’re right. Don’t believe something because thats what your friends, family, or celebrity crush believe. 

Have you ever been wrong before?

 

No° 15. Strive to be the best version of yourself 

Re-read the end of No° 13.

We all have an ideal me in our imagination. That person is real.

Never wait on the perfect circumstances before you give yourself permission to be something. You create your circumstances, in every moment – and waiting now will only create more time and things to wait for. 

Whatever it is you want to be be it now. 

Be a good person and don’t put negatives onto other people. Don’t bitch about things that aren’t fair. You have the gift of life for fuck sake. Radiate positives!

No° 16. Don’t interrupt other people when they’re talking

Most people don’t listen. They think about what they want to say whilst you talk.

This is a big one. When someone is talking to you, stop what you’re doing, put your opinions on pause – and let them finish. 

I know you might be excited or passionate about something and you want your chance on the soapbox, but seriously, don’t be rude… Let the other person get their words out. 

You could miss the bombshell of inspiration you just needed to hear – all because you wanted your 10 cents. 

As a great bonus – people will like you a whole lot more if you don’t cut them off!

No° 17. Dream BIG

It is not a bad thing to want a good life, to not struggle and to achieve great things.

It’s not humble to deliberately live an average life. It’s not greedy to live for more.

The possibilities are truly endless. Allow yourself the possibility of achieving these things – the bigger the better.

Aim for the skies. The only limit is the one you set for yourself!

No° 18. Stop playing games with people

You will not like everyone you meet, and not everyone you meet will like you. Thats exactly how things are supposed to be. If you really really like someone, let them know!

Fuck playing games with messages too:

Who cares if you were the last to text – text again.

Wouldn’t it be better to actually be busy (living your amazing life), than ignoring a message for an hour just to look it?

If someone has hurt your feelings, don’t hold it in and let them know.

Suppressing emotions isn’t healthy, let that shit out!

You never know where it could lead.

No° 19. Stop snoozing your alarm clock

If the first thing you do to start your day is get annoyed that your being woken up, imagine how terrible the rest of your day is going to pan out.

Jump out of that bed on the first alarm, stretch out, drink some water, open the windows to get some fresh air. 

You are alive, celebrate that!

No° 20. Let people take care of you

I’m very guilty of this one. I’ll carry the weight of the world on my shoulders and bottle everything up – then all at once, I’ll implode. 

Let someone share your load, tell them your worries. Hell, tell them your dreams!

All the good things you want for yourself. Allow people to do nice things for you, it will make your heart all warm and gooey. You don’t have to do everything alone.

No° 21. Do nice things for others without wanting anything in return

This can be something as small as donating some clothes to charity or something as big as volunteering yourself to help people in need. You could make your mum a cup of tea without being asked or go through your food cupboard and give all the food you know you wont eat to a food bank. 

You will feel so much love for doing this. Selflessness is such an admirable trait and one that is very rare these days.

No° 22. Be engaging

Have you ever had one of those conversations that goes like this:

Them: Hi

You: Hey

Them: You Ok

You: Yeah, You?

Them: Yeah, LOL.

I mean, really! TALK, Be interesting, share something about your day, discuss something you are passionate about. The world is full of people, each person has lived an experience… Engage that, pay attention to their body language, act upon your instincts. 

          

No° 23. Stop letting “reasons” rule your life

Here is another one that I can openly hold my hands up too.

I really want to get into fitness. I want to eat healthier foods and tone up my muscles. However, I give myself these reasons as to why  can’t… Its too much money for a membership, I don’t have the time, I want to spend time with my partner, I’m just not that kind of person, I have no motivation..

The truth is, I’m just putting it off because I can’t be bothered. I moan about it but I do nothing to alter this.

If you keep coming up with reasons, you will never achieve anything. 

Just go and fucking do it.

 

No° 24. Keep your receipts

This one is just something we should all do.

Keep track of your spending, pay attention to the things you’re buying a lot of. See if there are any items you could benefit from buying in bulk.

An added bonus of keeping receipts is if somethings stops working, you can usually get a replacement!

No° 25. Carry around tissues and a plaster

And for my female readers, also carry sanitary products.

I can’t count the times I’ve been caught off guard with my monthly gift. Plus, if another girl is in the same situation you can help a sister out!

Tissues are so helpful… I’m clumsy so I can always use a tissue to mop whatever it it off my clothes.

No toilet roll in the bathrooms? Tissue!

Plasters for rubbing shoes, bra bones and shaving cuts you’ve not noticed until peeling your tights off your legs.

What can I say, practicality and planning are of high importance on my list!

No° 26. Buy the right bra size

For years and years I managed to convince myself I was a 34B. That was until my boyfriend practically forced me to get sized again so my trusty primark bra could be laid to rest.

I shyly explained that my one tatty bojangle was smaller than the other and the wonderfully helpful lady advised that my larger lump is a D cup and that my back measures a 34/36. Cue the applause and comfortable bra purchasing phase!

Ladies, get measured and get a decent bra! Please.

No° 27. Don’t apologise for things out of your control

Did you personally manipulate the world, its orbit and make a pact with death himself so that your friend didn’t get a date with the guy she liked? No. you didn’t. In fact, you probably spent half of your day and data wishing it to happen…

Saying sorry for things you can’t control or change doesn’t really offer any condolence

“Sorry your date fell completely flat and you were home at 8PM.”

Instead, try saying something actually constructive or beneficial.

—–

Do you have any of your own life lessons, or see something that i’ve missed? Feel free to message or comment and let me know!

Thank you for reading, lovelies.

VickiAmaya

xo

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